{"id":2128,"date":"2018-11-13T17:15:39","date_gmt":"2018-11-13T23:15:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beckypalmer.thecomputerguy.bz\/?p=2128"},"modified":"2018-11-12T20:53:46","modified_gmt":"2018-11-13T02:53:46","slug":"more-mythbusting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beckypalmer.me\/?p=2128","title":{"rendered":"More Mythbusting"},"content":{"rendered":"

This past weekend I spent time with a good friend who has recently gone through a divorce.\u00a0 While her circumstances were very different, I went through one myself in 2002 and, to put it mildly, it sucks.\u00a0 However, it also gives you a lot of opportunity for introspection.\u00a0\u00a0I have previously written about relationship myths that we all need stop believing, and all those are still true.\u00a0 You can read them here: http:\/\/beckypalmer.thecomputerguy.bz\/2017\/08\/rules-of-engagement-and-marriage<\/a><\/p>\n

Today I’m adding three more to the list.<\/p>\n

#1 “We need to live together for at least a couple of years to see if we’re compatible before we talk about marriage”.\u00a0 \u00a0 Logically, this should be true.\u00a0 However, 20+ years of data don’t lie and study after study shows that couples who live together for extended periods of time before marriage have a divorce rate two and a half times higher than couples who don’t.\u00a0 I don’t know all the ins and outs why, but I just know it’s true.<\/p>\n

#2\u00a0 “Once a cheater, always a cheater”.\u00a0 \u00a0I have been on both sides of this one, so I can tell you with absolute certainty this is simply not true.\u00a0 \u00a0Cheating is a symptom, not a disease.\u00a0 Sometimes the root cause is that one of the parties is a selfish jerk, but usually there is a lot more to it than that.\u00a0 If both parties are willing to work hard to figure out the root cause and are 100% committed to fixing it.\u00a0 However, this isn’t always possible.\u00a0 Which leads me to…….<\/p>\n

#3 A divorce is always a tragedy.\u00a0 I wish I could find where I read this to give credit, but I read somewhere “Good marriages don’t end in divorce, only bad ones do”.\u00a0 Yes, it’s always sad when a marriage ends.\u00a0 And I’m certainly not suggesting throwing in the towel without a fight.\u00a0 But if one party isn’t willing or able to put in the work to maintain and\/ or improve the relationship there is only so much the other party can do.<\/p>\n

What else do you think should be added to the list? Let me know your thoughts!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This past weekend I spent time with a good friend who has recently gone through a divorce.\u00a0 While her circumstances were very different, I went through one myself in 2002 and, to put it mildly, it sucks.\u00a0 However, it also gives you a lot of opportunity for introspection.\u00a0\u00a0I have previously written about relationship myths that we all need stop believing,… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"More Mythbusting","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","category-its-all-love"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t