On Sunday afternoon I watched a video posted by a well-known social media expert (name being withheld as I’ve not asked his permission to use it). I’ve never met him personally, but my husband has several times at various social media events he’s attended over the years. This gentleman really opened up in the short video and stated that he hates being alone with his thoughts and so he fills his time with work projects, sometimes to the point of taking on too much.
This really took me aback for several reasons, but it also really got me thinking.
I have a lot of flaws. I don’t take as good of care of myself as I should. I get frustrated easily. I am too obsessed with the mobile game Design Home (if you play, hit me up on Facebook!!). I sometimes speak without thinking. I could go on and on, but you get my point.
Thankfully, one thing I have going for me is that I am OK with being alone. Part of that is practice I’m sure. My commute to work is about 40 minutes each way. My husband is self employed and works some weird hours. I have family and friends I go see in Minnesota- that’s about 2 hours of driving each way to get to most of them. I lived alone for close to four years when I was “in between husbands”.
This certainly was not always the case. While I claimed to be fine with through most of my 20’s, I absolutely wasn’t. I’m sure that my at that time undiagnosed depression and anxiety disorders played a big part in that. But I can honestly say that I was several years into mental health treatment and into my 30’s before I was really OK with being alone.
Now I embrace and quite frankly need time to myself. Thankfully my husband understands and supports me. I have gone on week long vacations by myself 3 times (And yes, I DID go to Duluth MN all three times- that is my happy place). I will take a drive to clear my head. I will go sit in the bedroom and read (or play Home Design) when my husband’s home. Sometimes I’m thinking deep thoughts. Sometimes I’m thinking about Bon Jovi lyrics. Sometimes I’m trying to come up with blog posts. Sometimes I’m looking for the perfect rug for my room in Design Home Sometimes I’m not thinking a damn thing.
Both of my long – suffering former shrinks gave me support and assistance with this journey. If you struggle with not wanting to be alone with your thoughts that may be an avenue for you to pursue as well. I have always said that I think most folks would benefit from a stint (or two) in therapy. But if that’s not in the cards for you, just practice it. Just sit alone and let whatever comes into your head come in. It’s not as scary as it sounds! Like anything else, you aren’t likely to be good at the first time you try. But do stick with it- the benefits to your mental health are worth it. I promise you that. Once you can feel at peace with yourself you’ll be better in your relationships, better in your time management, and simply more mentally healthy overall. And who doesn’t want that?