Hello again long time viewers!
You may have noticed that once again I have “remodeled” my blog and yes, just like before this is my attempt to get back to this blogging thing more often.
Two big things that have hindered my blogging frequency in the past:
#1 Censoring myself.
Anyone who knows me in the real, non-digital world knows that I’m awful at this in person. There is very little filter between by brain and my month and it’s not uncommon for me to be hearing what’s coming out of my head for the first time at the same time you are. Yet when I’m trying to blog I become the PC police.
Why do I do this? Out of love. I have family and friends I love deeply all over the political and religious spectrums and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m a very nice person and I want everyone in my world to also be nice and coexist happily. One would think that at my age (43) I would have figured out by now that’s not possible, but I’m still enough of my father’s daughter to look for the silver lining everywhere I go and genuinely wonder why others can’t do the same.
So, how do I get past this? By posting whatever the hell I is on my mind and letting the chips fall where they may. The people who love me are just going to have to love me as I really am. At least that’s the plan. We’ll see how well I’m able to follow through in the coming weeks.
#2 Searching for the perfect post.
I want every blog post to be perfect. Just the right topic, length, tone, word selection, etc. I’ve deleted three times as many posts as I’ve ever published because I just didn’t think they were good enough.
Why do I do this? Long standing self esteem issues. I want to be liked. I want people to enjoy what I’ve posted, think about it after they read it and seriously consider my point of view when it’s different from their own.
So, how do I get past this? To use a very tired quote, “Let It Go”. I have no desire to have a reality show or TV movie made about my life. I’m not in college any longer- no one is grading this. I didn’t major in English anyway- I have a mostly useless degree in Biology. I just need to be less hard on myself. At least that’s the plan. Again, we’ll see how that plays out.