There are a lot of things I don’t need, but the one thing I’m specifically referring to today is pity.
I have an amazing husband, a job I love, 3 feline kids, great friends, a good family, and so many other blessings I can’t even count. Sure, I have my struggles with mental illness and a few other things, but overall I’m doing just fine. Better than fine- great even!
So where are we going with this? Well, the two things that well-meaning folks pity me for the most frequently are related (no pun intended)- my lack of human children and my relationship with my mother. I’ve gotten flack on both recently and it’s driving me a little batty.
I’ve stated time and time again that I am perfectly OK with the fact that I never procreated. I love my niece and nephew to bits, but I know that raising kids isn’t for me. That should be enough for everyone, yet it’s not. People calling me lazy, selfish, or something along those lines is bad enough. But pity? That’s 100 times worse and there is no good reason for it.
I’ve also stated time and time again that I am perfectly OK not having the “my mom is my best friend” kind of relationship with my mom. In all honesty, I find that kind of mother-daughter relationship creepy as hell. Do I love my mom? Or course I do. But we are very, very different people. While it’s true that a lot of times the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, in my case I can’t see the tree. I’m not even in the same orchard. It doesn’t mean she’s better than me or I’m better than her. It just means we are different. We have different world views. We have vastly different interests.
This applies to my entire family- not just my mother. I’ve said about my sister for years if it wasn’t for relatives we would have nothing to talk about! If that’s weird to you, that’s OK. But your way is weird to me.
So, unless I am actively dying, or otherwise going through something horrible, I’m good. And if I’m not, I’ll tell you. Promise.