What Not to Do

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We get advice almost every day.  Some of it is great, some of it is so-so, and some is just plain awful.  And that really bad advice doesn’t always come from obvious places.  You can get awful, yet well-meaning advise from just about anyone.   I’ve gotten terrible advise from family members, former bosses, and well-intentioned friends.  The really scary part is that all of these folks truly meant well!

So, in my never-ending attempt to be helpful, I’m sharing the worst advise I’ve never gotten.  Please read and do the exact opposite:

#1 Never go to bed angry.  This is far and away the worst relationship advice I can thick of.  When you are tired and angry (and probably hungry) do you make good decisions?  Are you thinking clearly? Of course not.  So why continue the death spiral any further?  Sleep on it. It’s amazing how much better things look in the light of day.  You may even realize whatever it was, isn’t even worth fighting over at all!

#2 Follow your heart and the money will follow.  While I am all about following your heart in matters OF the heart, your brain needs to be front and center when choosing a job or career.  Sure, you should focus on what you’re good at and look for opportunities in those areas.  And certainly if you are being asked to disregard your own safety, ethics, or the law you should leave that situation immediately.  However, the fact of the matter is that we don’t all get to be astronauts when we grow up.  But, we do all have to pay our bills and eat, even if our job doesn’t make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside every single day.

#3  Avoid negative people.  Well, that would be awesome, wouldn’t it?  But since we don’t live or work in bubbles, it’s impossible to do.

#4 Choose happiness.  Gee- why didn’t I think of that?  While there is a small amount of merit to this one, it’s a big slap in the face to anyone who suffers a mental illness such as anxiety or depression.  I have chosen to be open about my own struggles with these illnesses now, but that wasn’t always the case.  It is very hard to talk about metal illness, and telling someone suffering from to just get over it hurts.  A lot.

#5 People never change.  This is just plain silly.  Everyone changes.  You aren’t the same person you were 10 years ago.  You aren’t the same person you were last week.  Certainly some changes are bigger than others, and some changes take significant time and effort to achieve.  But anyone can learn from their mistakes, no matter how large or small.  Anyone can decide to stop making the same mistakes in their relationships.  Anyone can decide to turn their life around.  And we should support those folks, not run them down.

What awful advise have you been given?  OR, what awesome advise have you gotten that might have seemed awful at the time?

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