I’ve seen a new trend that I don’t like one bit. More and more people are opting to have no services of any kind after they pass on.
I understand not everyone is religious, so a church funeral – or clergy led service of any kind- may not be wanted. I also understand that a full on traditional visitation, funeral and lunch isn’t in everyone’s budget.
But people – far more people than you likely realize – will want to have an opportunity to pay their respects and / or show support to your family after you pass away. Without any kind of gathering there is no way for people to do that. Sure, people can send cards in the mail, or an email, or a note of support on social media. But it’s just not the same. We have not yet invented the way to send a hug, or a firm handshake, or a meaningful hand hold, via the web. And coming out a pandemic, hugs and other person to person physical contact has become even more meaningful!
So, before you tell your spouse/ kids/ etc. not to have ANY kind of services for you after you pass I really encourage you to give it another thought. If you are worried about burdening folks with expenses, you can prepay most of them (you can’t prepay for flowers and a few other incidentals) with the local funeral home of your choice. You can certainly specify nothing religious/ no church services. You can most certainly request that instead of flowers, people honor your memory with a donation to a charity/ cause that is meaningful to you.
Think about a time you lost someone and had services for that person. Think about all the people who came by share a story of your loved one. To let you know they were thinking of you in a time that was difficult for you. To offer any kind of assistance you needed. Your loved ones deserve to have that same outpouring of support after you leave this mortal coil. Don’t deny them that.