Recently my husband and I were watching “Wife Swap”, which is a silly reality show where two women swap places into either other’s families for 2 weeks. And of course, to make good TV they always find 2 families as different as possible for maximum drama. In this particular episode the biggest point of contention between the households was the degree of separation between the kids and the rest of the world. One family’s children lived in an RV all year round, were home schooled, and the 20 year old daughter had never been on an unsupervised date. The “swapped” wife thought this was tantamount to keeping her in captivity and of course fireworks flew. And as stupid as that TV show is, it really got me thinking about my own childhood and transition into adulthood.
Today I see kids being raised in every possible inch of the shelter spectrum. On the one end we have the home-schooled kids who never interact with anyone outside a very limited circle of family and maybe select others from their church. On the other end are kids who are in every activity known to man to the point where the home is basically just a place to sleep. Both extremes seem exhausting and I’m glad that my parents weren’t of either of these mentalities even if I had a few growing pains in college being sheltered to the degree I was.
At the end of the day I have to admit my parents a pretty amazing job of raising me and giving me a firm foundation and belief system that remains with me to this day and I’m forever grateful for the structure and guidance they gave me.
How sheltered were you as a kid and how do you think it prepared you for adulthood?
I don't think I was sheltered, per se, but I was expected to follow the rules and do well in school, which is, in turn, how I raised my kids, now 23 and 20. My kids had some friends who were extremely sheltered, and by and large, those kids are the ones who ended up rebelling in a big way. Obviously, letting kids run wild isn't the answer, either. Landing somewhere in the middle usually seems to work out best.
I was raised to be an adult, and I raised my child to be an adult.
She interacted with repair folks, planned family vacations, flew to see in-laws and when older, marched in both the Rose Parade (Sophomore) and Macy's Parade (Senior)
Both I and she were required to inform the parents where we were going, but not ask if we could. We both grew up in small towns and were big travelers in our 20s.
I wish my parents had set more limits during my teen years, but on the other hand, I'm not unhappy with how I turned out. I was expected to "grow up" early, so I did.