A few years ago my husband Pat chose to stop drinking alcohol. His reasons for stopping are his own to share, but I can assure you he did not have a drinking problem. Pat is fine with me having an occasional cocktail. He is fine with anyone drinking in moderation- he just chooses not to himself.
I think most people would agree he is well within his rights to choose what to consume in any social situation. Unless you are huge jerk you don’t look down on anyone drinking Diet Coke in a bar.
Yet in spite of everyone agreeing in theory on this, we have noticed something. Since it has become common knowledge that Pat has made this decision our phone doesn’t ring quite as often. There are some people who just haven’t invited us to anything since. It really sucks.
We didn’t have any kind of arguments or anything else to make us think we were no longer friends with any of these folks. They just don’t invite us out anymore. And before you point out that the phone rings both ways, let’s just say that after a certain number of unreturned messages you get the hint and stop trying.
And maybe we’re wrong and we are imagining the entire thing, but it doesn’t feel like it.
I’m not writing this to shame anyone. I’m writing this in hopes that someone will read this and think about someone they maybe haven’t talked to in a while. Maybe you just got busy- we all get busy. It’s never too late to reconnect.
Just think about it.
Sorry to read this. Real friends are always there.