As I’m sure you are aware, yesterday was Mother’s Day. And as I’m also sure you know, I do not have any children by choice. Yes I have cats and yes I do say I’m their mom, but I do know there is a huge difference between the care and feeding of a small cat and the care and feeding of a small human.
I do not regret my decision to not have children one bit. I love the life I have. I have a niece and nephew I adore and spoil. If things had gone differently with my first husband I probably would have kids and I’m sure I could have kept them alive. But it didn’t and I didn’t and that’s OK. My parents do enjoy having grandchildren, but they never put any pressure on me or my sister to produce them. They told their friends who asked that it wasn’t their decision. And they were right.
What I don’t like are folks- mostly women but not all- who believe that their time is more valuable than mine because they have kids. In their minds I must come home from work every night to eat bon bons on the couch and spend all weekend lounging in bed. I once had a coworker who truly believed she should get more vacation days per year than me because she was a mother. I managed to NOT throw anything at her, but believe me it was hard! I’ve worked with people (none at my current job thankfully) who assumed that, since I was childless, I could stay late or otherwise alter my schedule with little or no warning because “I didn’t have anything important to do” outside of work.
If you are a parent by biology, adoption, marriage, etc. kudos to you! Just don’t try to tell me you are more important or special than I am because of it.
And I must add, you spoil your niece and nephew in a very good way! Everyone has their own what’s important to them and that should be respected. BTW- Eye opening post.
Luke actually put down his phone and talked to me during lunch yesterday- I was pretty impressed with myself. At least until he was clearly horrified when the waitress thought I was his mother…..
Very well written, Becky, and I always think of those who are childless whether by choice or by circumstance on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. There is no way that any parent is above anyone who is a non parent. That just is not right. And it pains me to see how much emphasis is placed on parenthood sometimes when not all parents are good parents. I had great parents and I hope that I was able to be a great parent as well but that does not mean I am better than anyone else. I am glad you wrote such an honest post. It is very true. And yes—I know how much you and Pat love that niece and nephew. 🙂
Way to speak up! I get it! I totally do..in a different way, but I do! You are definitely just as important and I’m sorry that you’ve ever felt otherwise. People can be so mean!