We all know what gravity is. It’s the force that keeps our feet on the ground instead of letting us drift off into space.
Scientists know there are places where gravity doesn’t behave the way it should, most notably near black holes. But as far as I know, there are two other places where no studies have been conducted.
The first is inside a purse. Ask anyone who carries one and they’ll agree: no matter what order you put things in, the item you desperately need ends up at the very bottom. You toss your keys in. Ten minutes later, you need them. You dig past receipts from nine months ago, a lip gloss you forgot you owned, and an unwrapped cough drop and/or mystery pill, and there they are, at the very bottom. This goes against everything Sir Isaac Newton and my middle school science teacher taught me about how gravity works. Yet it happens. ALL. THE. TIME.
The second is something every cat owner (and probably every small dog owner) knows. You’re lying in bed or on the couch. Your beloved companion hops up for a cuddle and steps directly on your breast or testicle. Suddenly, instead of weighing 10 pounds, they weigh approximately three tons, and every ounce of it is bearing down through one tiny paw. It’s excruciating. It defies logic. And it happens daily.
It seems gravity is not as simple as “what goes up must come down”. Newton may have been hit on the head by an apple, but he never had to find his car keys at the airport or been accidentally assaulted by a small furry mammal at 6 a.m. If any physicists are reading this, please hit me up. I’m happy to be a part of your groundbreaking research.