So I’m sure you all know that Josh Duggar was in the news again this week. Just in case you have been living under a rock, he was on the cheaters website Ashley Madison to the tune of $1000 and has admitted to cheating on his perpetually pregnant wife Anna. And Anna has issued a statement apologizing for this!
Back in May I explained why the Duggars are terrible examples of what Christianity truly us (19 Kids and No Longer Counting). Clearly these things are all still true in spades, and even worse than I’d thought a few short months ago- especially for women.
Anna Duggar’s statement expressed her sorrow- not because she married a horrible human being, but because her husband’s cheating is her fault!! And no one, not even her own parents, have risen up to defend her. Maybe I’m asking a lot- I mean they DID sign off on her marrying a pedophile- but how do you just stand by and watch your own flesh and blood humiliate herself on national television over something that is 110% not her fault.
Oh that’s right, it IS her fault. After all, doesn’t the Bible say “Wives submit yourselves to your husbands”? Clearly Anna must have failed this in some way. But wait!
Yes, it’s true that Ephesians 5:22 does say that. BUT, 5:21 reads “Submit to one another out of reverence for the Lord” (no gender specified) And 5:33 reads “Each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself”. IF you read the entire chapter of Ephesians 5 you’ll learn that marriage is supposed to look like a mutual admiration society- not a dictatorship. Looks like another case of taking one verse out of context- a common curse of Christians and non-Christians alike and, sadly, the basis of much of the Quiverfull dogma.
Another observation- this is a great example of why abstinence only sex education doesn’t work. First Josh was caught- multiple times- molesting his own sisters. Yet none of them received any kind of counselling- God forbid they learn anything about healthy sexuality! Josh was sent off to a farm like a bad dog and his sisters were told to put it behind them and that was it (I’m betting they were told it was their fault to boot).
So now we have several people with little hope of ever having a normal, enjoyable sex life. Thank God most of them are girls – it doesn’t matter if they enjoy sex anyway. But for poor Josh his issues just get worse. Having never gotten the help he needed as a teen he gets married a few short years later and tries to have a sexual relationship with only the knowledge that he needs to get Anna pregnant as many times as possible. One can only imagine how that wedding night went. Poor Anna. Then Josh spends $1000 looking for “discreet companionship”. And admits to a porn addiction- although that phrase has been removed from later versions of his statement. Also clearly signs of a healthy, positive attitude to sex. And one that he’s forced upon Anna, she’s not allowed to get any information or help anywhere else.
I will be praying for Anna Duggar and her kids. I hope that someday she is able to get out of the cult of Quiver and understand her true worth as a woman and a human being extends far beyond her uterus. She deserves better. It’s not just me saying that- her own Lord says the same thing. I just hope someday she gets to hear it.
