A couple days ago I got a letter from my doctor’s office with the results of my recent blood work. Along with the normal blood sugar, cholesterol, etc. I got a note that I am now post menopausal. Last year I was peri menopausal, so this is a change.
I thought it was a change I would be happy to see. But it felt more like a kick in the gut than a cause for celebration. There is something about being told you are no longer useful to the species that doesn’t exactly made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Of course, I haven’t really been useful to the species for a while now. I had a hysterectomy in 2009- hence needing the blood test to know what stage my ovaries are in. I knew I didn’t want kids way before that- I had first asked about getting surgically sterilized in 1998.
But reading in black and white that I have officially gone through “the change” makes me feel old. It is good to know that my risk of ovarian cancer is now much lower. It is nice that I haven’t have any acne for a few months now. But now my risk of cardiovascular disease is higher. Now my risk of osteoporosis is higher. And because of my previous surgery, I experienced what’s probably the best part of menopause- stoppage of periods- ages ago.
So here I am. Really and truly over the womanly hill. It’s a lot to process.