Can I Be Happy Now?

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This question is more than just the title of the song Bon Jovi opened their April 7th show in St. Paul with. It’s a question that I am posing to the world.

All around me there are lots of bad things going on. People I care about are fighting cancer and other serious illnesses. My sister has been trying to sell her house for 2 years now while at the same time trying to grow a business she started out of necessity when she lost her job last summer. I know too many people who are unemployed or struggling with other financial issues. I have friends who are struggling with marital problems and friends who are struggling in the dating scene after a divorce unexpectedly put them back into it again. And of course there are still all the big problems in the US and the world.

But yet my little corner of the world is pretty good. I have a wonderful husband who has seen me at my absolute worst and loves me anyway. I have a nice house in a nice community to live in. I have a beautiful kitty who runs to the door to meet me every day (and who is sitting on my lap purring right now). I have a good job at a good company. I have a family that is more normal than most. I have good friends even if they don’t live in the same town (or even state) as I do. Thanks to a combination of Paxil, 3 years of therapy and getting older I finally have my head screwed on more or less straight- as straight as it’s likely to get anyway. I went through a pretty bad time for awhile and it feels really good to have come so far since then!

But I am kind of afraid to tell people this. I feel embarrassed sometimes to share my happiness when so many other people aren’t as fortunate as I am. I know that my friends are glad to see me doing well but I almost feel guilty for it. And I don’t know how to put these two feelings together.

2 thoughts on “Can I Be Happy Now?

  1. Stacy's ramblings

    Becky, I hope you never feel like you have to hide your happiness from me. You yourself went through a lot to get to where you are right now and you deserve to be as happy as you are. Some of us are still traveling our roads to get to that same place, but you got there. Enjoy it! Love you!

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