Wedding season is in full swing. And it’s becoming more and more apparent that wedding are out of control. The average cost of a wedding in 2024 is $33,000 and the average cost to just attend a wedding is $600 per person!
It starts with the proposal. Back in my day, proposals were usually private events. Maybe over a nice dinner, or during a quiet stroll at sunset. Now, proposals require an entire crew to organize, orchestrate and of course photograph. Because everything is for the Gram. And remember when jewelry stores advertised an engagement ring should cost 3 months’ salary? Now, you need to sell a kidney. Engagement rings cost more than my car!
Then there are all parties. Even if you’ve been living together for 20 years and/ or have been married 3 times before, you expect someone to throw you a huge engagement party and brides expect multiple extravagant showers. Bachelor/ bachelorette parties are multi day affairs, often at a destination that requires air travel.
Wedding parties used to be a total of 6 to 10 people- including the couple getting married! Now, wedding parties of 20 or more are common. Bridesmaids are hit the hardest- between the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, all the events they need to attend, it’s a wonder anyone says yes- who can afford it? And don’t get me started on the cost of wedding gowns, OR the trend of having separate dresses for the ceremony and the reception!
Wedding venues used to be churches, usually the one the bride or bride’s family attended. Now venues are chosen entirely by how well they fit the “vision”. And it doesn’t matter if no one attending the wedding lives anywhere near this venue. Having the right look is the most important thing.
And long gone are the days of serving cake and mints or a simple light supper after the ceremony. Oh no! You need 12 different kinds of hors d’orurves, a feast fit for a king, and a wedding cake that costs more than entire families spend on groceries in a month. And don’t forget the booze. It better be flowing and it better be the good stuff!
I realize that these are gross generalizations. I know for a fact that there are PLENTY of couples who don’t fall into these traps. One amazing example I’ve seen recently is my cousin’s beautiful wedding just a year ago. You can read all about that here if you missed it: https://beckypalmer.me/?p=4616 But there are way too many who do. I’ve worked with a lot of women over the years who have been THAT bride or a grossly underappreciated bridesmaid. And it’s too bad.
Multiple studies have shown that the LESS you spend on your wedding the more likely you are to stay married. Couples who spend over 25K on their weddings are the least likely to even make it 2 years before splitting up!
So once again I beg of engaged couples to be thinking about the right things. About planning to spend the rest of your lives together. A party is one day. A marriage is the rest of your life. Spend your time and resources accordingly.