Little Blob, Big Worries

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About a month ago I went in for my first mammogram.  I had tentatively planned on a humorous blog post about that but it didn’t happen.  Why? Because of something called a fibroadenoma- a common benign, harmless mass of breast tissue.

3 days after my first mammogram I got called back in for a second mammogram.  This is very common after first mammograms as there is nothing to compare the images to for any changes so that’s nothing to worry about.  But, even 2 mammograms couldn’t help the Radiologist determine what a mystery blob in my right breast was so I stayed for an ultrasound.  While the mammograms were certainly uncomfortable the ultrasound was far worse which I certainly wasn’t expecting. But, the very young very perky tech (fully dressed in pink ribbon adorned scrubs) had to smash that scanner into my breast as far as she could to get images of this blob deep inside me (almost back to my ribcage)  that I’d known nothing about until 72 hours earlier.  I genuinely expected to have a permanent dent as hard as she pressed down on me!

After that torture was over I sat in the waiting room until a kind and patient nurse (also in head to toe pink ribbon gear) summoned me into her office and informed me that the Radiologist still couldn’t determine what my 2cm by 1cm blob was but it “probably” wasn’t cancer.  I knew that a coworker who had breast cancer 3 years ago was also told her blob was “probably” not cancer when first detected so I wasn’t reassured by that statement at all.  This was on a Friday and we scheduled the biopsy for the following Monday.

I spent the weekend as a zombie.  Only my husband, mom, sister, boss and 2 dear friends knew what was going on.  I stayed off social media almost entirely- rare for me.  I barely spoke to my husband.  I went to church and prayed like I haven’t in years.  I couldn’t sleep- which is VERY rare for me. All I could think about about this tiny blob inside me that might be trying to kill me.

The biopsy itself was a piece of cake compared to the previous procedures I’d endured and in fact I watched the entire thing on the ultrasound monitor.  The doctor, nurse and ultrasound tech- who thankfully didn’t have to press nearly as hard this time- all told me they thought it looked like a fibroadenoma but of course they couldn’t know for sure until the results of the biopsy were in.  Thankfully the results came in the following afternoon and the same nurse who scheduled my biopsy called me with the good news.

So, I don’t have cancer- yay!  Would I have been more open to sharing this with people at the time had it been my kidney and not my breast?  I’ve thought about that a lot and I honestly don’t know.  Telling anyone didn’t really make me feel any less worried about the situation so perhaps not.  Thankfully it’s over and done with now and I plan on scheduling my next mammogram for the year 2025.

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