The World is not Ending and Neither is my Marriage

So I’m a couple days back from my trip to Duluth and I had a great time.  The weather was good, I found a couple new great places to eat, and it was all around a good time.

The day I left my husband posted that I had just left and a few jokes about what he was going to do with the house all to himself.  A very disturbing pattern started to appear in the comments.  Thankfully not the “I can’t believe you let her go on vacation by herself” crap, thank God,  But rather concerns about the state of our marriage and that this trip was somehow my/ our way to tell the world all was not well in Casa Palmer.

Before I go any further, let me assure you that things are good here at home.  We just celebrated 15 years of marriage in April and our relationship is just as strong as ever.  In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s the strongest it’s ever been.

And I will take it a step further-  solo vacations are a sign of a healthy relationship.  Solo vacations mean you understand that being married isn’t the same as being a conjoined twin.  You are two people with unique interests.  Certainly you share some with your spouse, but it would be virtually impossible for 2 people to love all the exact same things.  Solo vacations mean you are capable of operating alone- you are not codependent.  Solo vacations mean you have trust and respect for your partner and you don’t confuse proximity with a strong relationship.

For the record, my husband and I are planning a trip to California this fall as a couple.  He’s also going to Chicago next month without me.  I’m not suggesting you should NEVER vacation as a couple, only that you consider it as an option.  You might surprise yourself!

And one last thing- if you say your spouse would “never let you” go on an outing of any length without them and / or alone, and you truly mean it, that is a form of domestic abuse.  That type (or any type) of controlling behavior is not OK and you deserve better.   Please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at https://www.thehotline.org/  or at  800-799-SAFE or connect with resources in your community.  Caring, people are out there willing and able to help you have the life you deserve.

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